We live in a world that glorifies overwork, hustle, and the constant pursuit of more and more. We are bombarded with bad news daily, and societal pressures to do more and possess more make it challenging to find peace in the present with what we already have. When these pressures mount, it’s just a matter of time before something snaps. There’s no wonder many of us experience high levels of burnout.
Grace under pressure
Consider these scenarios – You’re juggling multiple projects at work, and feel like your to-do list is multiplying by the hour. You were up all night finishing other tasks, and are late with a report due to your boss. When you receive an angry email from him noting his disappointment in the delayed report, you feel terrible. Immediately, you feel a pang of guilt, thinking you’ve let down the team and herself.
Or, you’ve been arguing with your partner about something small, but it quickly escalates into a full-blown fight. Tempers flare, and hurtful things were said in the heat of the moment. You go quiet, retreating into the other room, wounded. You know those words were not true, but they still hurt.
In both scenarios, you are left with the type of heavy emotions which are hard to shake off. They linger, weighing on your mind and body, making it difficult to focus or move forward. These feelings—of guilt, frustration, or sadness—can build up over time, leaving us emotionally drained and physically exhausted. The constant cycle of overwork and unresolved emotions traps us in a loop where rest feels indulgent and self-care feels unattainable.
But it’s in these moments, when life feels overwhelming, that the act of pausing becomes most essential. Taking a step back to breathe, reflect, and prioritize what truly matters can help us break free from the cycle. It’s not about doing less, but about finding balance—embracing rest as a necessity rather than a luxury, and reminding ourselves that we are enough, just as we are.
Giving yourself grace is not about excusing poor behaviour, ditching responsibility or letting your goals slide. What it means is approaching yourself with compassion, forgiveness and honest self-reflection.
The G.R.A.C.E Method
I developed the G.R.A.C.E method below as a model for practical compassion. It goes beyond simple platitudes we tell ourselves like “don’t worry about it” or “shake it off”. It’s a simple process that lets you be intentional while taking meaningful action. It includes affirming statements at each step that can help you reset and re-centre yourself. Applying this method consistently, over time, builds mindfulness and personal responsibility.
Best of all, giving yourself grace shortens the amount of time that you lose energy on feeling disappointed, frustrated or defeated. Because really, does anybody have time for that?
G – Be GENTLE
Invite yourself into a deep, slow breath. Inhale. Sigh it out. Can you find even a little self-compassion in this moment? Starting with the breath is a helpful way to reconnect to your body and help reduce some of the intense charge you might be feeling around the situation. This is a simple but very powerful first step. Trust that you deserve gentleness. Allow yourself to receive it through the portal of your own breath.
AFFIRMATION: “I can be gentle with myself. I choose compassion over criticism. I am doing the best I can in this moment.”
R – REVIEW & REFLECT
Find a moment to take an objective look at the situation. When our feelings are highly charged it can be easy to lose perspective. Take time to self-reflect. Ask yourself: What is most present for me in this situation? What do I need most, now?
AFFIRMATION: “I am being honest with myself. I am open to learning what I can from this situation.”
A – ACKNOWLEDGE & ACCEPT
This is a key aspect of grace – being fully aware of and present to your needs in the moment. No judgement. Perhaps you made a mistake. Maybe you lost your composure. You may have disappointed someone. You may have disappointed yourself. Or, perhaps someone may have disappointed you. By acknowledging the truth of where you are in this moment you create the space for alignment. From this space, you can move forward, gracefully.
AFFIRMATION: “My emotions are valid and I accept myself fully right now.”
C – CHOOSE Your Next Step
Ok, so you’ve acknowledged and accepted your truth. You are aware of what your needs are. Now, you are able to choose your next step. You get to decide what’s most important for you to get into alignment. You may choose to step away and take a short break. Maybe you’ll choose to offer an apology and a corrective action. You might journal, go for a walk, rest, cry or nourish yourself.
Giving yourself grace means you take the time to do what’s right, for yourself. Without judgement. With care and reverence.
AFFIRMATION: “I know what I need to do. I move forward in alignment, trusting that each step brings me closer to peace.”
E – Exhale & Energize
Here is where you can recover and optimize your energy. By intentionally choosing to release the stress, guilt or difficulty of the situation, you empower yourself to activate a higher, more vibrant energetic frequency. Literally, sit up or stand straight and take a long, deep breath in. Then, with mindfulness, exhale slowly, setting the intention to release the stress. Choose to forgive yourself (or others) and embrace yourself with compassion. Repeat the intentional exhale as many times as you need to.
AFFIRMATION: “I can let go now. I forgive myself. I trust that all is well.”
Amazing Grace
It can be very easy to slip into the habit of being harshly self-critical or brooding over mistakes. On the other hand, it is important to build healthy practices of self-reflection so that we are appropriately taking responsibility for our actions. Whether we’ve been operating at less than our best, or we’re bearing the brunt of challenges beyond our control, we deserve grace. Consider applying the G.R.A.C.E method next time you’re feeling pressured or let down, and be gentle with yourself this month.
Joyanne Howell, CSC, CYT
Joyanne Howell is a wellness consultant, coach, and retreat host with over 20 years of experience in corporate consulting. After overcoming burnout in her own career, she now helps organizations improve employee engagement and retention while supporting professionals and entrepreneurs to reclaim their energy, vitality and efficiency. Joy is also a certified coach and yoga educator who has trained and taught around the globe. She believes in yoga as a way of living - not just as a form of exercise. Follow her on Instagram @joyanneh
