Struggling to set meaningful goals can hinder your ability to achieve important milestones, which may lead to feelings of uselessness, low motivation, and sadness. I frequently remind my clients that setting small, achievable goals can significantly boost their mood and provide a sense of enjoyment and accomplishment.
If you’re new to goal setting, start by creating goals that are both attainable and personally meaningful. It’s also important to recognize your limitations and concentrate on what you can realistically achieve at this moment. For those new to the process, not to worry, here is how I guide my clients to achieve their goals.
How to create a goal?
I usually guide clients through a bespoke self-reflection process, prompting to ask themselves questions such as, “What do I want to achieve?” “What are my overall goals?”
I suggest to clients that they start by choosing one or two goals from the areas of their life they value the most as it may be overwhelming otherwise.
After clients complete the initial steps, we collaborate to help them identify specific goals by breaking down their overall objectives into more manageable parts. We then take one of these specific goals and divide it into several clear mini-goals, which serve as incremental steps toward achieving the larger goal.
I encourage clients to use an analogy of thinking about the goal-setting process as a ladder with their long-term goal at the top. Research shows that successfully sustaining new or altered behaviours over time until they become a habit is even more difficult for us. Thinking about achieving a goal rung by rung on the ladder is usually perceived as more achievable than doing it in one big leap.
An example of how to achieve this, is using the goal of “seeing my friends more”. The first step of the ladder may be to choose a friend to phone. The second step of the ladder may be to invite your friend to your home for a coffee. The third step of the ladder may be to meet them at a quiet time in a café. Reaching the top of the ladder may be to go out with a group of friends to dinner for example.
Timestamp your goals and reward yourself after each achievement
I encourage clients to be explicit with when and how many times per day or week they will carry out their goal. To try and get clients to firm their intention in achieving a goal, I ask them to rate how certain they are that the first mini- goal, or getting to the first step of the ladder is achievable on a scale of 0-10, with 0 being certain they will not achieve the mini goal and 10 being certain that they will achieve the goal.
I suggest to clients that if they rate the mini goal at less than six out of ten, then they should add more steps as mentioned above to their ladder. Everyone’s ladder will appear different, as it is bespoke to them and their goal. I encourage clients to keep breaking down their goal until they feel they are able to make a start.
Clients find that keeping a diary may be helpful, and a way for them to be accountable to themselves between our coaching sessions. I suggest to clients that they write out the days of the week and tick each day they achieved the goal, adding any comments about how they feel that day or comments they think might be helpful. I then suggest that clients review how they are doing at the end of the week so they can see what has been achieved and then reward themselves. Each time a client achieves a mini goal, they usually feel more able to go on and take the next step.
